Acceptance

At the beginning of the year, I read a post by a friend who decided she wouldn’t have resolutions for the new year. Kind of.

Since last year, she decided to choose one word as her goal for the new year. Grow was the first. Then, for this year, she chose present.

I though that was an excellent idea, since I’m never able to complete my ever-growing list of things I want to accomplish. So, I thought about it, and decided to settle on “acceptance.”

Opening WordPress, I created a new draft and wrote in the my selected word. I closed the draft as I didn’t have time then to write the post. Quite a few weeks later, I’m here.

I’ve missed blogging. While sometimes I experienced stress trying to maintain a writing schedule, many other times it presented a relaxing way to reflect and share some thoughts. So, let’s do the latter.

Although I feel tempted to change my word for this year, I will not. Perhaps “present,” as in “being present,” should be my goal as I fail time and time again to embrace what is happening right now. Or beauty—finding beauty in both complexity and simplicity—as I talked about for chapel at my school a few weeks ago, could also work. What about patience, love or humility?

All those are great words, but acceptance might be more appropriate for this time of the year. There are many changes coming. I have control over some situations, but not over many others. For starters, I’m graduating and I’m still not sure what I will be doing when August arrives.

Even though I hadn’t written a post about acceptance, the word has been on my mind even before this year began. As I prepared my applications for grad school writing résumés, selecting rehearsal footage for my pre-screening materials, editing essays, and feeling as incompetent as ever, I prayed God would grant me strength to be accepting of whatever happened afterwards. I had to do my part and then understand the rest was not for me to decide, only accept.

I had to remind myself of that every time I received an email with a letter telling me I was unable to get an audition. Then I got one audition and I told myself I should not worry about the outcome, I should simply enjoy the chance to conduct a good orchestra.

So many things have to line up for me to go to grad school, and I’m in the last step. I don’t know whether it will work out, but I want to have an attitude of acceptance.

I don’t want acceptance to mean resignation in a depressing manner, as if the only other option was to deny the facts. Contentment may be more like what I’m looking for, especially as described by Paul in Philippians 4:12 (NIV):

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.

And then finish saying (verse 13):

I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

 

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