Why do I resist?

Why do we resist that which is best for us?

I just don’t get it. Why do we move away from that which we know is what we need? I know I need God. I can feel it. Yet I don’t do enough to get closer. I intend to try, but then I don’t. But why?

See, I’m desperate. It’s hard and I don’t understand. I’ve felt what it is to spent time with Jesus. His love is unfailing, unconditional, present, eternal. Yet, it seems I don’t want it. I want it, right? Or not?

I just have to make time for God and I don’t. Yes, even Paul had a hard time doing the right thing and helping himself from doing the wrong thing. He calls himself the worst sinner, but I see a man of God. But me, what am I? Why can’t I make time for my Savior, for my Lord, for my God?

I need His guidance. I really need it. Have I spent time with Him trying to figure out where He is trying to take me? No. Maybe I’m resisting His plan, but how am I supposed to know if I don’t even stop and listen. I’m doing and doing and doing, yet I’m stuck.

In spite of all my shortcomings, however, He loves me. He loves me no more and no less than He has always done and always will. That is comforting.

He loves me.

I want to love Him.

Si Cristo no es el primero en tu corazón, entonces ya no es nada; es solo una falsa ilusión. Pero si es el primero, si es tu compañero, motivo de tu existir, irás a vivir, irás a reir, irás a vencer.